This semester was incredible in a lot of ways for me, and in a huge way this class changed me, immensely. I wrote about things that I have not touched on in a long time, and in a way it helped me to move on from my past and move forward with my future in the warm West Coast Sun. So for that, I thank you, Professor Mathes, as much of that is due to you.
Truthfully, when I started the class I was very guarded, and the walls that I put up were immense and I think impossible to break down, which made it impossible for me to connect with people in the way that I truly wanted to. I still longed to be back in New York and could not fully embrace the fact that I had escaped from the dark and the cold of a small town in Upstate New York, and I had made it out like I always wanted to. This class helped me to realize that, and it helped me to realize that life is a beautiful journey that we need to embrace and hold on to for as long as we can, as life is short, as cliched as that line has become.
The writing process for me is simple, but the impossible immenseness in its simplicity is incredible. The most important part of writing for me is trying to get to the truth... It is trying to get to my core, unguarded so I can reach out to my reader, and have them relate to that universal emotion that I am feeling underneath everything else. This is difficult in person, as I think my walls prevent me from saying how I really feel, and this class allowed me to say how I really feel, and I was able to bring that into my everyday life. Because of this class, I have been able to just be myself, and the most confident version of myself, because I know that I have experienced extraordinary things, and have been scarred numerous times, but they are all real and they are all worth talking about to be able to move forward.
I think in many ways this class gave me courage that I did not have before it, because it gave me the courage to say what I felt, and to absolutely mean it. I hope that came across in my writing. Without this class I am not sure that I would be the person I am right now. And when a change is that incredible and that palpable and occurs in one semester, I think that really says something about not just the student, but the teacher as well. Professor Mathes, your questions and your assignments that made us find the truth within ourselves, has made me a better person, and a happier one... So thank you for everything this semester.
Wow, Nick. Just wow. You know, I planned my escape from the cloudy and flat Midwest, and it took me longer than you to make it out once and for all. When I finally, finally did, I found myself in a tiny town in northwest Colorado, and I was like someone who left a cave after dwelling in the dark for many years. I felt disoriented and kept blinking and wondering, "Where am I? What do I do now?" But you know what? That's where I finally began to find myself -- as a person and a writer. There were tough days--many--but I wrote so much poetry. I hiked a lot. I soaked in the sun. I read. And read. I went white water rafting and learned about birds. (I know that's kind of weird.) My whole life opened slowly, as e.e. cummings would say, "Petal by petal," and one day I stopped looking back. I moved a couple more times, but never back East again--always further west, actually.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to see where you go as a writer -- how you flourish. You've got something that will carry you wherever your words will take you. No can teach you that. You find it within yourself (or you don't, but I can already see it's there.) You just keep going and, quietly (and in a non-weird way), I'll be watching as a fellow writer to see where you end up. Be patient, persevere, keep going forward, and let the words come. Kimberly