Friday, April 5, 2013

Open Blog

Yesterday I turned twenty. I know, realistically that that is very young, but what I keep thinking about is how fast it has gone by. Twenty years went incredibly fast and that is a fair chunk of time within a human life, and its like the first chapter, my adolescence is gone and I am in some way entering the second phase of life. Somewhere within that, too, I am also thinking of my teenage heroes and what they were doing at this age. For some reason what comes to mind is that Kurt Cobain was only seven years older than I am now when he died. When you're younger twenty seven feels like a lot of years lived, especially if you're a rock star, but... It isn't. In no way do I envision that I will have completed all the goals of my life by age twenty seven and this realization is immense. I know, too, that twenty is a number and yesterday was just another day, but for some reason it just is not. For some reason I feel like a chapter of my life has ended and in a very strong way, I feel relieved by that. Yet at the same time, the future and the unknown is frightening. Most importantly though, I want to make sure that as I enter the second phase of my life, if one can call it that... That I do every single thing that I want to do before it is too late. I want to explore the depths of who I am, and I want freedom and exploration, but I also want to feel connection. I want the warm breath of sun that is love and I believe that somehow it is all connected and this is the time to find it and fight for it. I am no longer a teenager, I am in the first days of the rest of my life and all that I fight for. So I promise my twenty year old self, and my future self that I will always love fiercely, and fight for whatever I want and along the way I will help and inspire a few people and in that I will find strength.

2 comments:

  1. Nick, I couldn't agree with you more. Although I'm not twenty (nineteen... almost there), I have felt the exact way you do. I have lived on this earth for a long time. Despite it feeling so incredibly short. I love how you can give yourself the motivation to find yourself within the rest of your life, You are right, You are no longer a teenager, but you have to ask yourself, just because another 365 days has passed, does that really qualify the end of being a teenager? I think at the moment you gave yourself up to that past "chapter" as you called it (which i loved), you had ended your childhood altogether. I hope the best wishes to you, and good luck finding what you need to find!

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  2. This is the blog that you put in your portfolio. I really enjoyed reading it. I said this elsewhere, but I'll say it again: you're a natural blogger. The form is a good fit for you because you're naturally meditative, and blogging allows for one to meditate in words and to share thoughts simply and effectively.

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